Summer Isn't a Break. Here's How to Make It Feel Like One.

Our Moms in Tech community recently heard from Christy Shannon, cofounder and CMO of Ollie, and mom of four, on something we all quietly live through but rarely talk about honestly: the weight of summer. School’s out, routines shift, and that perfectly planned system that works so well in the school year is long gone. The organization and coordination of all the plans often falls to moms and sometimes it can feel stifling rather than celebratory.

But, this isn’t something moms have to shoulder on their own. Not only can they look for support in communities of moms who get it (ahem, Moms in Tech comes to mind), but there are tools and technologies available to help share the load. We talked all about this and more in our exclusive member event, and the takeaways were too good not to share with our broader community.

Photo by MI PHAM on Unsplash

The Truth Nobody Says Out Loud

For many of us, summer arrives with a very specific fantasy attached to it. Think bike rides in the neighborhood until dark, popsicles, reading lists, no schedule, and no stress. The '90s version of summer. And then reality hits: you're answering emails from the sidelines of swim lessons, mentally tracking camp waivers and carpool logistics while also trying to be present, joyful, and fully there for your kids.

Here's what Christy named directly, and what so many of us needed to hear: summer is not a break for most parents. It's a different, and often heavier, version of the mental load we carry the rest of the year. Seventy percent of moms in America work. This isn't a choice between career and family. It's both, all the time.

If summer has felt harder than expected, it's not because you're doing it wrong. It's because it genuinely is harder. But, there are ways to make it easier on yourself without sacrificing that summer “magic” we all dream about.

Six Ways to Make Summer Feel Lighter

These aren't hacks or a new checklist. They're small, practical shifts that may help you reset your approach to the summer struggle.Take what's useful to you and leave the rest.

Simplify

Hot dogs for dinner. Sprinklers instead of a planned activity. Pare things down rather than build them up. The goal is a real shift in mindset: from “what will people think?” to “this is enough.” What gets in the way of that shift, more often than not, is shame. Not guilt (which is about an action) but shame, that little voice inside your head whispers “I’m not enough.” Brené Brown's "web of shame" captures exactly what's driving so much of our summer pressure: a tangled, competing set of expectations about who we're supposed to be. Let go of the “shoulds” and focus on the “cans.” You can still make summer magic with small changes to routines that won’t break the bank and more importantly won’t require hours of planning.

Let Everyone Be Bored

Build unstructured time into the week and resist the urge to step in when kids say they're bored. Psychologist Dr. Nancy Darling writes that boredom helps children learn what they enjoy, pushes them toward new things, and builds creativity, independence, and resilience. Try responding to "I'm bored" with genuine excitement: “That's great, I can't wait to see what you come up with.” Keep some open-ended materials around (art supplies, cardboard, tape) and let your kids take it from there. This principle applies to you too. Avoid reaching for your phone to doomscroll and seek out analog activities that spark creativity.

Create Small Rituals

Adding some fun routines to your summer schedule doesn’t have to take a lot of planning or time. Think of simple solutions like a walk after dinner, Friday ice cream, or a family show. These small, repeatable moments act as deposits into your family's emotional bank account. Research from the Gottman Institute shows that children who experience regular connection feel more emotionally secure and better able to regulate stress and that rituals build a shared family identity that matters most during times of transition and uncertainty. None of this needs to be elaborate, it just needs to be consistent.

Protect Time for Yourself

This is the one most of us skip, especially when things get stressful. Find a few minutes each day that are genuinely, actually yours.This does not mean folding laundry while technically alone or listening to a podcast while cooking, but real time that belongs to you. Research published in Communications Psychology shows this kind of time measurably helps parents reset and regulate their emotions. Enjoy your morning coffee alone before the house wakes up. Take a solo walk before starting work for the day. Read a chapter of a book before bed each night. It doesn't need to be a full hour, it just needs to be yours.

Lower Your Expectations of the '90s Summer

Most of us don't have nine weeks of PTO. The world also looks different than it did then. Instead of trying to recreate the whole era, borrow the small pieces that still work for you and your family. Stock the freezer with popsicles, spread a blanket on the lawn with a stack of library books, take the time to pick wildflowers and encourage the kids to make arrangements with them. You can have the feeling of a slower summer without needing it to be just like it was back in the day.

Actually Share the Load

Get your partner genuinely on the same page and ensure that they're not just informed, but actively carrying the invisible weight of the chaotic summer calendar with you. Look for places to outsource or offload whenever possible. You don't have to hold all of this in your head alone, and truly sharing it is its own form of relief and lightens the invisible load.

Though summers can be hectic and changes to routines can be tough, there’s also magic in the slower days. No matter how you approach your summer, be sure to take care of yourself and your time in the process. Give yourself grace, take a deep breath, and remember that it’s temporary.

About Ollie

Ollie is an AI-powered family assistant that helps families manage the mental load together, accessed simply through SMS so there's nothing new to download or learn. Add your partner or co-parent to the thread and give everyone visibility into, and agency over, what needs to get done. Learn more at ollie.ai.